Marriage Satisfaction

This entry I juz want to share about Marriage Satisfaction. Actually, my last project @ UPM is about this tittle. Communication skills, sex, work-family, family-work is related with marriage satisfaction! Neway, for my result communication skills is a strong factor! WOW!!!!🙂 Very nice factor kan hehe… So come kita tinjau2…. But, lain org lain persepsi bukan???

Aku nak berkongsi mengenai perkara ini kerana ada seseorg bertanya pd aku ttg erti sebuah perkahwinan, cabaran dlm perkahwinan & apakah hak seorg isteri serta suami setelah berkahwin. Masa aku buat last projek aku mengkaji serba sedikit angkubah yg berkaitan dgn kepuasan dlm perkahwinan. Hasil dari result aku ialah :-

1) Komunikasi adalah angkubah plg penting dlm perkahwinan – rata2 isteri yg byk menjawab perkara ini krn bagi mereka suami lbh byk mendiamkan diri tanpa berbincang apabila jadinya sesuatu masalah @ isu

2) Money / duit sangat diperlukan dlm sesebuah perkahwinan – isteri & suami byk menyokong angkubah ini krn tanpa duit yg cukup akan menyebabkan kepincangan dlm perkahwinan

3) Seks  – suami yg menyatakan isteri tidak memahami keperluan & kehendak mereka

There are very few marriages, where both the partners are satisfied fully. Go around and make a small survey. The results may look shocking but they are true. Everyone has one or the other complain about the married life.

The dissatisfaction may be many areas. It might be the home they are living in. It may be that the husband does not help the wife in household chores. The husband may complain that the wife is not helping him in growth of his career. It may have to do with difference of views about spending and saving. You will hear complain after complain and may wonder how people stay together with so many complaints?

The dissatisfaction may be emotional. She is not bothered when I am feeling unhappy and she will reply that even he does not bother. Getting physical satisfaction is now a distant dream. Going to places to enjoy with each other is long past. It is watching television at home and somehow killing time. Some people even dread holidays, because they may have to stay with wife all the day. There will be doubts about each other’s friendships and a bundle of complaints about how I am suffering but no one is simply concerned.

Why the communication lines have broken down so badly? Why are spouses not satisfied with each other? It is difficult to say. But this problem can be solved with little effort. Let them sit together and write all their complaints on a paper. Exchange the papers and discuss about everything. Decide that from now onwards, I will try and satisfy you in all the possible ways. If you still have to say something to me, tell me after a month. Give me a month’s time. Keep the talks on through out the month and determine that we will bring back cheer in our life again. We will bring happiness back and become a model couple. This decision itself will change a lot immediately.

For couple I think, better kita decide betul2 apa yg NEED yg kita perlu dlm perkahwinan kita. Sometimes maybe we speechless~ Nothing issue for talk each other, tapi bagi akulah setakat gurau2 manje apa salahnye kan!!! Itulah pengerat kasih sayang antara laki & bini😀

Apabila BERNIKAHNYA (adanya akad & nikah yg telah disahkan), seorg wanita telhpun menjadi isteri & bukan lagi kepunyaan ibu & bapanya! Dlm faktor ini, bagi pendapat akulah apabila sahnya seorg wanita menjadi seorg isteri perkara yg perlu diambilkira & dititiberatkan :-

1) Suami

2) Ibu & Bapa mertua

3) Barulah ibu & bapa kita sendiri

Tapi, dlm hal mcm ni janganlah pulak seorg suami tu memainkan peranan yg tidak betul! Janganlah pula ingat kamu adalah RAJA utk segalanya. Bagi aku, komunikasi mmg adalah elemen plg penting dlm memupuk ikatan kasih sayang berpanjangan. Apabila komunikasi itu menjadi tidak betul, maka akan runtuhlah ikatan kasih sayang itu. Sama juga dgn ibu bapa, adik-beradik, kawan-kawan, bos dll… elemen komunikasi sangat penting utk menjalinkan ukhuwah.

Setelah suami & isteri menjalani kehidupan seharian, isteri perlulah peka dgn kehendak suami. Bukan mudah utk menjadi isteri, ibu & pekerja dlm satu masa. Konsentrasi / fokus itu penting dlm mengetahui kehendak orang & kehendak sendiri. Ye, aku jua turut merasakan bahang kepenatan yg kadangkala hati memberontak kerana kepenatan dll. Tapi, itulah lumrah dlm kehidupan. Tidak Allah jadikan lelaki utk wanita & wanita utk lelaki.

Semasa aku kecil, aku seringkali bertanya MENGAPA Allah tidak menjadikan seorg lelaki? Kerana aku anak sulung & t/jawab aku sgt besar… Bila jadi sesuatu mslh dlm keluarga, aku perlu mengepalai sesuatu isu itu agar tidak menjadi terlalu serius! Sementelah aku bekerja sambil belajar (nak cari duit punya pasal…) menyebabkan aku mmg sangat penat. Kawan2 pun kurang sbb aku kurang enjoy. Tapi, bila dah kawen ni aku bersyukur kerana Allah menjadikan seorg wanita. Bukan mudah utk menjadi seorg lelaki sbnrnya. Begitu mudah utk ke Syurga & terlalu mudah juga utk ke Neraka!!!!! Subhanallah. Isteri perlulah tahu 3 perkara mengenai suami & amat perlu menjaganya :-

1) Perut (jgn biar suami kelaparan)

2) Seks

3) Anak

Macam mudah utk direalisasikan tapi sebenarnya, kita semua silap! Sikap suami yg ego kadangkala sukar utk ditafsirkan. Sikap isteri yg suka berahsia, amat sukar utk dihuraikan. Maka, komunikasi amatlah perlu utk menggalakkan suasana harmoni. Bukan mudah sebenarnya…

Setiap hari nyatakanlah kasih sayang kpd suami / isteri kita. Aku pun kadang2 ego juga tapi, bila memikirkan aku nak hidup dgn suami aku sehingga akhir hayat & aku mahu menjadi isteri utk suami aku di akhirat kelak, aku perlu ketepikan ego aku. Aku juga manusia biasa yg tidak sempurna & itulah yg sering aku nyatakan kpd suami aku bila kami ada berlaku sedikit perselisihan faham. Mungkin kita tak mampu utk berkata2 apabila ego masing2 telah ke kemuncak. Tapi, sebagai seorg isteri aku perlu mengalah demi kasih sayang & anak2. Memadai dgn sms nyatakan kemaafan…

Suami pula, jgnlah ego tak tentu pasal. Suami perlu tahu era globalisasi yg makin maju kini, pelbagai masalah terutamanya mengenai duit seringkali menjadi tajuk utama apabila berlakunya peselisihan. Mungkin suami tidak bisa mengungkapkan TERIMA KASIH di atas bantuan isteri. Tapi, nyatakanlah ungkapan itu dari erti kata yg lain!🙂 Ye, suamiku, aku memahamimu….. Dan, aku amat berterima kasih di atas segala kasih sayang & hadiah2 yg kau hulur padaku. Aku tak minta barang yg mahal2 memadai dgn kamu setia kpd aku🙂

Bukan mudah nak mudah apabila berkata-kata. Berbicaralah dgn seikhlas hati kpd pasangan anda. Ketika pasangan sedang tidur, nyatakanlah ungkapan cinta & kasih sayang kpdnya. InsyaAllah, Allah bisa melembutkan hati kita utk menjadi suami / isteri yg TERBAIK utk pasangan kita.

Kpd suamiku, aku amat menyayangimu… Kita berdua terlalu berbeza tapi, aku tetap menyayangimu hingga akhir nafasku…😀 Abg, I LOVE U… ♥

Mari kita buat test sikit nak????😛

Test Your Own
Marriage Satisfaction

 
After each question below write down the number that most closely approximates your present feelings about your marriage or your spouse. On a scale of one to ten, 10 is “pleased,” 5 is “half yes/half no,” and 0 is “not pleased.”
I AM:
 
 
 

 

  • Pleased with the amount we talk to each other.
  • Happy with the friends we share in common.
  • Satisfied with our sex life.
  • In agreement with the amount of time you or we spend at work and at home.
  • In agreement with the way we are spending money.
  • Pleased with the kind of parent you are. (This refers to the way your spouse interacts with the children.)
  • Of the opinion that you are “on my team.”
  • Pleased with our leisure time together (e.g., sports, vacations, outings, etc.).
  • Basically in agreement with your outlook on life (e.g., values, attitudes, religious beliefs, politics, etc.).
  • Generally pleased with the way you relate to members of your own family. (This refers to your spouse?s parents, siblings, etc.)
  • Satisfied with the way you relate to members of my family. (This refers to your own parents, siblings, etc.)
  • Pleased with your general habits, mannerisms, and overall appearance.

 

 

Add up your total score:

  • 84 and more means that you have a VERY GOOD marriage.
  • Between 72-83 reflects SATISFACTORY to GOOD feelings and interactions.
  • A score of 61-71 suggests that you need to make some basic changes.
  • Below 60 indicates a POOR level of marital satisfaction.

Marriages that are bankrupt usually call for divorce counseling so that the husband and wife part amicably. Usually, however, people whose levels of satisfaction are this low don?t consult psychologists ? they head straight for the lawyers!

Many marriages can be improved so that couples can experience more joy than grief. People who believe that nothing can be done to improve a bad marriage are usually incorrect. It is difficult, but not impossible, to transform a poor marriage into a good one.

Selamat mencuba!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🙂

Marital relationships are complex institutions! In order to improve the quality of a marriage, it helps to take a systematic look at how it is functioning. Here is a questionnaire you can use as a general guide for evaluating your marital satisfaction.